Profiel van MaggiePadded Cell ConfessionsFoto'sWeblogLijstenMeer  |  Extra Help |
|
|
08 november A Blog from Chrissy!Chrissy sent this story as an email to her cousin. It was something that happened to us months ago, but I'll let her tell you!
As I think you know Maggie and I clean houses after the renters move out. One Friday night we were working late and knew we had an early start the next morning so we arranged to meet at my house for a power breakfast and coffee before we started. I grabbed the dump truck and took it home and so I slept blissfully never expecting the next mornings events.
After breakfast and humming bird nectar(as I call Maggie's coffee, it is soooooo sweet, gag me) we loaded up all our stuff into the truck and took off. I am driving and Mags is riding shot gun across the cab. we are both dead beat and want to sleep, but our poor nevers are slightly fried from the caffine so we are kinda edgy.
We are talking a litte and the house is just over a mile from mine so words are few. I tried to make a joke, or ask a question or something. (Please remember here that Maggie is deathly afraid of spiders and I am not.) Any how as we drove along booking it at about 35mph I look over at Mags and to my horror there is malitious, flesh eating creature of death! I of course in my dazed state let out a bone piercing, blood curdling, ear splitting, scream of death! Please use your imagination to picture this your minds eye. An 18 year old girl clad in carharts, driving a 1 ton dump truck, going to take on the digustingness and weight of renters, including an eviction notice, on fried nerves and a glob for a functioning brain, seeing a malitious, flesh eating creature of death!
Maggie screams( her scream was not as impressive as mine) imagining that the worst has come and she is about to be eaten by the worlds worst spider because if it made me scream it must be horrible, and then proceeds to attampt to jump out of the truck. Thank God the door did not open before she saw the malitious, flesh eating creature of death! In her mind, which was obvioulsy more stable than mine, she saw only a snail. I still hold that it was the ultimeately scariest snail ever!! It was all spread out and it's visious antenni were waving as if to say "when I get to your head (some time in the next five years) i will .. um i'm a snail.....what to do........i can't really eat her.......ummm...umm...I know! I'll slime your hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (insert evil laugh here)
Any way I have never been the same and still await the day that world is taken over by snails 15 september Oh to be rich!My sister's father-in-law is very wealthy. He lives in Huntington Beach, Cali which is a very wealthy town. His daughter (Katie's sister-in-law) went to high school there and made some friends with some other wealthy kids. Now Katie's father-in-law makes his money in pharmaceuticlas. He owns pharmacies over on the East coast. Sounds reasonable, there is money in drugs. Some of the sister-in-law's friends, however, had dad's that made their millions in completely different ways...inventing! So what kind of huge complex invention did they create to become multi-millionaires? One dad had invented the traffic cone. How do you even come up with that!?! Was he driving through some construction one day and thought, "ya know, this would be so much more orderly if there were some big pointy orange things with like reflectors on them!" Another dad invented the microwave burrito. I'm guessing this guy is like 250lbs and obsessed with burritos and being able to have them in under 3 minutes. The sad thing is that these guys are making millions! The moral of the story: Your stupid ideas could make you some big bucks! 15 augustus The History of the Piñata According to MeIn Early prehistoric times, cavemen would get wives by clubbing them and dragging them off to their caves. This struck (ha!) fear into women so they would hide from these mean old cavemen. The cavemen didn't know what to do. With all the women avoiding them, how would they get wives and reproduce? They managed to nab a woman and got together to question her. They asked her how they could get women to come back to them. She told them that women liked to be treated nice; talk to her, have fun with her, and shave your unsightly unibrow. After letting the woman go, the cavemen started thinking. Have fun with her? The plan began to form:
 Let woman think you have a fun 'game' and lure her in! One caveman would invite lots of women over to play their new 'game'. They figured that the women would feel less threatened if there were lots of women and only one caveman. There was a terradactil tied to a tree and the caveman would have the women blindfold him (even less threatening to the women) and he would try to knock the beast down. Well, once the caveman was blindfolded, he swung his club all around and hit every woman! This was the caveman's plan: trick the women and in turn get lots of wives for yourself! Of course women aren't that stupid and very, very quickly caught on, so this 'game' got passed down to children and was slightly altered. The name piñata came about because they just happened to be Mexican cavemen. (duh!)
Today you spin the blindfolded child around, thus confusing him more and instead of beating a beast out of a tree, it's a paper figure filled with candy. Of course this idea is still completly 'cavemanish' because why in the world would you lure kids in close with the promise of candy to another dizzy blindfolded child with a big stick!?! Someone's head's gonna get cracked!
 I can just see me picking my child up from a birthday party:Mommy Me: "So how was the party?"
Child: "It was great! We had a piñata and I got brain matter and a couple of teeth!"
So the next time you buy a piñata or participate in the 'game', just remember that you are supporting the clubbing of women...and now small children.
 Please remember Mark in your prayers today. He's going in for surgery again and all he wants more than anything is that it comes out 100%.27 juli We're on Vacation!!!Since we are leaving here are some final thoughts. Mark: It all starts here....July 28th, 2006. I will face all odds, brave all the tasks, beat all odds. If I should not return, this will be my final gift to humanity. I will plunge myself into a mans worst nightmare....Stuck in a car for 4 days with *gulp* 5 girls. Dodging 5 different periods, all of which happen once a month for possibly 5 days....How can I beat those odds? Will I? Lets see, 5 girls, 5 different days they can get their Period, that’s like 25 different days I COULD be with a period-stricken women! 31 days in this month, I don’t like those odds. But I must face those. 10 full days, fully surrounded by women.. Contact with them every single day. Eating with them. Can I survive? Can I beat the odds? I’ve been warned by my fellow friends, “Don’t do it, it’s suicide!” But I must take the chance, for the glory that awaits is more precious than my life. My mother is giving me, over $400 to spend AT Disney Land. All my life I’ve wanted so many expensive and worthless things, but oh so cool and awesome, at Disney Land. Four-hundred dollars in Disney Land money! You don’t understand, this is a dream come true for me, something I’ve always wanted. I can buy oh so much there of cool Indiana Jones, Haunted Mansion and other theme based objects. Whether I will pay the ultimate price for this, I don’t know....The price of my life!
Maggie: Just remember Mark, you hold the key to 'taming' us women. That 7 layered chocolate cake in Frontier Land! Use it and you will survive. Although, if you die then I get your grey blankie! Muahahahah! I'll see if I can set up some male bonding time for you with Goofy or something. I can't wait to go; that car trip means lots of sleeping!!! We can cool down those hot Disney days with Splash Mountain or the Grizzly Run. I am really not looking forward to all the waiting in lines though. Space Mountain is open finally (the last two years I've gone with Mark's family, it wasn't open). And they have the new Monster's Inc. ride in California Adventure. I've been on the Tower of Terror quite a few times but it still gives me like a panic attact while I wait to go on. I know it's not scary but for some reason I still get all shaky. One of my favorite parts is the fireworks at night; it's so romantic for some reason. Me, Lisa, and Sarah will all probably do the 'single girl sigh' at how romantic but sucky that we have to enjoy it...alone...again. Mark should just run and hide or else drown in girly sentiment. I want to go there for my honeymoon...just for the fireworks. Ok so I'd go on all the rides too but the fireworks just get me. *single girl sigh* Be back on Monday the 7th!
Archive Reads while we're gone: Leave lots of comments!!! Some of Maggie's: Things I Can't Help but Laugh At Valentine's Day aka Single Awareness Day
Some of Mark's Archive reads: 26 juni First EncounterMy ex-boyfriend's step dad grew up here for the first 4 years of his life. This meant that the town was even smaller and suckier than it is now! To top it off, his family had a farm way up a mountain (which is where he lives now but in a different house). I think I've mentioned before that this town is not very ethnically diverse. Mostly a bunch of white retirees and some Mexicans (I don't say Latino's because they are from Mexico) There are virtually no black people whatsoever and the only asians are either adopted or motel owners. Well poor Mike (the step dad) had never seen a black person before and growing up he was a bit of a mountain boy. When he was 4 he moved to California. They took the bus from Seattle and when they got to the station there was a big black woman in a fur coat. Little Mikey got scared, pointed and screamed, "Mommy, mommy, it's a bear, a bear!" Needless to say, he got in trouble by his very embarassed mother! 01 juni Good Ole Chuck!I have found a new joy: Chuck Norris jokes! Mark and I have been highly amused for the past week or so by this roundhouse kicking, bearded wonder. These are my favorites; hope you enjoy!
-When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck -Norris.Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink. -Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. -When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up - he's pushing the Earth down. -Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. -There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. -Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. -Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. -Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. -There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. -Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. -There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. -Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is. -Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile. -Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. -Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. -Whenever Chuck Norris’s wife asks him nicely to do the dishes, he throws them in the garbage and tells her she looks fat. -Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. -If you want to send Chuck Norris a letter, just write “Chuck Norris” on the envelope and drop it in any mailbox. Don’t worry; he’ll get it. -The “C-section” is named after Chuck Norris, for when he roundhouse kicked himself through his mother’s stomach.
-Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter.
-Chuck Norris eats coal and poops diamonds. -The last child who dressed up as Chuck Norris for Halloween came home with three dozen 5-course gourmet meals, a 200 foot square block of the purest gold, and four human sacrifices.
-Lemmings run off cliffs because of Chuck Norris. -Trains stop at a Chuck Norris crossing.
-The fences at the zoo are to keep the animals safe from Chuck Norris. -At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris, but Chuck Norris -Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Chuck Norris threw it.
-Chuck Norris has a pet kitten - every night for a snack. -A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. -How many Chuck Norris's does it take to screw in a light bulb…WHAT!? Chuck Norris doesn’t need light. Light needs Chuck Norris. -Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, but Death is too afraid to tell that Chuck Norris -Mr. T’s infamous catch phrase was misunderstood to be “I Pity The Fool” when it was actually “I Pee In Your Food”. Mr. T then proceded to eat a bag of kittens. (Ok, I know it's not about Chuck Norris, but I thought it was hilarious!) -Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a freakin Indian. -Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice -The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist. -Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die. -Chuck Norris has the greatest poker face of all time. He won the 1998 World Series of Poker with only a Joker , a get out of jail free card from monopoly, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades and a green #4 card from UNO -A horse once bucked Chuck Norris, he simply looked at the horse, and it turned itself to glue, bottled itself, stocked itself in the nearest hobbie store -To save money on executions, the State of Texas is considering death by Chuck Norris instead of lethal injection. -If you’re ever taking a multiple choice test and you don’t know the answer, write in E. Chuck Norris. You’ll always be right -Chuck Norris doesn’t pay for anything. Instead, he hands cashiers a note that says “I’ll kill your children and use their corpses as ventriloquist dolls.” 17 mei Wanted: Roomate...Muahahaha!Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern. 8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!'' 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....'' 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, lay on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?'' 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'' I found this and now totally would sacrifice the freedom of living solo for the chance to have my own potatoe colony, yell at my cerial, and laugh at a pencil!
 Archive blog to comment on:12 mei Mother's Day Weekend Blog!Sunday is Mother's Day! I found this and decided that it was chuckle worthy. Even though I have no children of my own...Thank God...I still was able to really appreciate it. For all my mom readers: Happy Mother's Day! And have a great weekend!
~Maggie *Queen of the Cell*
 Lessons Learned from My Children 1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room. 5. When using the ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day. 10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a six-year-old. 11. "Play-Doh" and "microwave" should never be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise in a moving car. 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 21. Cats spit up twice their body weight when dizzy. 27 april You're a 90's Kid If...I saw this post of You're a 90's Kid If... and it really reminded me of a lot from my childhood. Funny thing is that Mark and I had been just talking about this kinda stuff and then the next day Sierra and I were too! It's so long that I don't want to post the whole thing, but here are a lot of my main ones!
You're a 90's Kid If...
TV Shows Like:
What else do you remember? 13 april The Prairie Dog PoliceDENVER (Sep 8, 1996 11:47 p.m. EDT) -- Like a doctor feeling for a pulse, Honaker smiles. The furry body of a prairie dog, still in its subterranean "You can feel when he's fighting back," Honaker yells over the roar of the Just then, the hose jolts, and with a rumbling whoosh, the rodent shoots up "One!" Honaker mouths, his eyes gleaming with excitement. A moment later, another whoosh. "Two!" "It's like playing the violin," Honaker says modestly. "After five years, Honaker is a master of the latest in rodent-control technology -- the It came to him one night five years ago in his Cortez, Colo., home. Balfour, "The bank stepped in and took everything -- my machine shop, marina, In his dream, he saw an enormous yellow truck with a green hose sticking out *For the full story go HERE The reason I bring this up is because my dad actually knows a guy that has a pet prairie dog that was 'collected' in this very way. He said that they make great pets and are easy to keep...only problem...it freaks out every time he turns on his vacuum! I never had any weird pets growing up. For dogs my family only has had Irish Setters. We've had 4 in my lifetime. Most people think they are beautiful dogs but they don't realize that they are the stupidest dogs ever! I can think of lots of times when my dog that we have now (a 13 year old named Bonny) ran into the wall or the piano. One time when I was little, the coyotes were howling across a field by our house. My dad had a coyote call and so he was trying to get them closer. My dad was calling, my sis was peeking out below him, I was peeking out below her, and the dog was peeking out below me Has anyone watched Mark's video? 15 maart The Guys' RulesCommentary by Maggie is in Purple Commentary by Mark is in Blue If you are colorblind then you are screwed! I got this as an email from Laura. Poor thing is in the hospital right now, so go send your well wishes! I laughed hysterically when I got this and when I showed Mark he said I HAD to post it. So here it is!
Preach it! Finally someone sums up us guys in an email! This is 100% true! read it carefully, although some don't apply to me....
The Guys' Rules: At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down, finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 17 februari Padded Cell 'Politics'After this, I can guarantee that I will either be forced to office or assasinated(am I famous enough to be assasinated, or would it be murder?
 ) I don't get too involved in anything political; I vote and that's about it. I do have my stands on specific issues, but those aren't what I'm getting into. Our military is over in the Middle East, fighting terrorist and trying to organize the people. This last week, it came to my attention, that we have the ultimate fighting machine! I think our troops can just lay off the fighting and concentrate on helping the people and leave all the fighting to Dick Cheney! By the way, does anyone else find it terribly unlucky that the guy had a heart attack the next day?Queen's note: I should say that I do in a way feel bad for the guy. I do think it was an accident...but if you can't laugh about it then you'll just get depressed about it! 16 februari Blonde Joke!This is compliments of my friend Anneka:
 A guy is sitting in a bar having a beer next to a blonde who is reading a newspaper, the front-page headline of which reads "Twelve Brazilian Skiers Killed in Avalanche." Sobbing uncontrollably at the tragic news, the blonde turns to the guy and says, "My gosh! How many is a brazilian?" 10 februari Mind Boggling QuestionsMind Boggling Questions
Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
17 januari Books that never made it Part 2Here is the second part in the 3 part series of Books that never made it!
51. Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance
13 januari Books that never made it Part 1Ok, I finally have like 5 minutes and 34 seconds to post something to keep you guys entertained for a little while till Maggie comes back. College sure is a life sucker..... This will be like a 3 part series, because there are so freakin many of them. enjoy!---Mark (King of the Underworld).
1. The Yellow River by I.P. Daily 2. The Numbers Game by Cal Q. Later 3. Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts 4. Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Freeley 5. Twenty yards to the Out House by Willie Makit and illustrated by Betty Wont 6. Spots on the Wall by Hugh Flung Poo 7. Falling Off a Cliff by Eileen Dover 8. The Complete Proctologist's Handbook by Ben Dover 9. The Joys of Drinking by Al Coholic 10. My Life with Igor by Frank N. Stein 11. Supporting Athletes by Jacques Strappe 12. Things That Itch by Mike Rotch 13. I Was Prepared by Justin Case 14. Green Spots on the Wall by Picken and Flicken 15. Small Treasures in the Toilet Bowl by I.P. Nickels 16. What Makes a Good Thief by Ian Yerhous 17. Waiting in Line for the Bathroom by Ivana Tinkle 18. Practical proctology by Bea Hind 19. The future of robotics by Cy Borg and Anne Droid 20. What to do if you're in a car accident by Rhea Ender 21. How things work by Wyatt Dunne 22. Breathing lessons by Hal E. Tosis 23. Why Should I Walk? by Iona Carr 24. Deep in Debt by Owen A. Lott 25. The Most and the Least by Maxi & Minnie Mum 26. Taking a Test by B.A. Wiseman 27. The Sun by Sol Ar 28. Pie by Don Cherry 29. Blazing!! by Lotta Heat 30. Computer Memory by Meg A. Byte 31. Gotta Go by C. U. Later 32. How to Serve Your Fellow Man by The Cannibals 33. Can't Go There by Hans Off 34. Card Suits by Di A. Mond 35. Checking Your Homework by R.U. Wright 36. The Membership List by Ross Terr 37. Manwich by "Slop" E. Joe 38. The Giant Clock Tower by "Big" Ben 39. All About Flowers by Chris Anthymum 40. Short Shorts by Daisy Duke 41. Boy Scout Brigade by Pat Troll 42. The Lost Scout by Werram Eye 43. Al Gore: The Wild Years 44. Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean 45. America's Most Popular Lawyers 46. Career Opportunities for History Majors 47. Detroit - A Travel Guide 48. Different Ways to Spell "Bob" 49. Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches 50. Easy UNIX 30 december Who Googles This?If you remember back on my past blog "Who are these sick people?"
I talked about the gross things people looked up on Google and other search engines, and managed to find me! I have a whole lot more! Some are funny and some are just plain wrong!
Funny Google Hits: Oh, Poopie! (Probably an old woman looking up her favorite phrase) bleeble blabble (Someone else in this world thinks in a strange language like Mark!) Why is a padded cell fluffy? (Cuz it's umm...I know this is a shot in the dark but...um padded!) Mark head (I wonder what they were actually looking for???) candy canes (not really funny but I thought I'd throw it in)
Sick and Wrong, we should flog these people, Hits: hot granny web cam (EWWWW! How I came up, I have no clue!) bestiality confessions (Worse than the granny one! Did they want the cow's side of the story?) skinny dipping pics porn (If you found me from this, get in your shower, turn it on cold and just sit for a while!)
Apparently I have a very large, random array of topics that makes me ideal for bizarre Google searches! I might have to make up a separate category of strange search engine hits! I'm now very disturbed to think that these people are actually living, breathing, and breeding in my atmosphere...ok, so it's not MY atmosphere...after all, Mark made it! He made everything!
29 december Happy Notes!Sarah bought me a bag of Dove Smooth Milk Chocolates, and they have these happy little messages inside like "The best present you can give is your presence!"
 and "Joy to...you!", ya know, corny dumb stuff. So I came up with my own Dove messages: 
Today I can pretty much guarantee the bag will be empty! Somehow *Note: I found the checkbook! But now I have a ton to do, so still dreaming of that shot! 28 december The Cow,The Oompa Loompa, and The DishwasherThis story just came to me in a dream
 (ok so it was a restaurant with Sarah and her cousin who will remain nameless because I would kill the spelling). It is a totally original idea; we came up with it all on our own. The Cow, the Oompa Loompa, and the Dishwasher. Ok, so there are 3, no better make it 4, aardvarks (why is this spelled with two 'a's?). Two girls and two boys...or maybe two boys and two girls. Lacy, Edward, Pete, and Suzie. They discover a dishwasher just sitting in an abandoned room and of course climb right in! This takes them to McDonald's play land that's been taken over by an evil Oompa Loompa but then it's saved by the most wonderful Cow who rules the play land!(he's the only one who doesn't have to take his shoes off cuz he doesn't have any!) We need to fill in some details like maybe the Oompa Loompa uses chicken nugget delights to temp the aardvarks and have a friendly Mr. Thumbless the Pawn help them out, but it's a work in progress! Maybe it will go to theatres someday and I'll be famous! P.S. As much as it sounds like it, this is MY writing, not Mark's! ~Maggie *Queen of the Cell*
*Note to Mark: I'm sure you can guess who I got my inspiration of originality from! (...there's 6, no let's make it 7, dwarfs!...)
19 december It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...passed out on the floor?I work with a guy who's had all sorts of different jobs and he has some pretty good stories from them. Years ago when he was a paramedic he got called out to the strangest scene I've ever heard. Here's what happened: A guy was sitting in his apartment when he heard his neighbor's wife screaming for help. He ran over to their apartment, the door was unlocked, and went in. Her screams were coming from the bedroom so he entered. Here he discovered the wife completely naked and handcuffed to the bed. On the floor, crumpled in a heap was the husband, dressed in a Superman costume not moving. Apparently when 'Superman' came in to 'rescue' the woman, he jumped up on the bed, hit his head on the light fixture, and knocked himself unconscious! His wife thought he had somehow killed himself so she started screaming for help. How the neighbor managed to take all of this in and not die of laughter, I'll never know. I probably would have walked and said something like, "Sorry lady, but if Superman couldn't save you, I don't think I could either!" |
...she's supposed to be a hunting dog. Dad knew that the sound of a coyote howl freaked my sis and me out so after a while he jumped and said, "Look out! Here they come!" We shot down the hallway so fast and when we got halfway down it we could hear dad laughing and knew it was a joke...the dog however, was way in front of us and didn't stop till she hid in a room! Yeah, we were so protected. I bet that prairie dog would have protected us better from those coyotes...unless they had vacuums. 
|
|
